What Would You Do?
by Lightstar Angel
Summary: What would you do if confronted with…Victoria Hardwick? Here’s a very humorous look at what I think Lana would do. (Lex/Lana; mention of Clark/Chloe)


TITLE: "What Would You Do?"  
  
AUTHOR: Lightstar Angel  
  
E-MAIL: LightstarAngel@aol.com  
  
GENRE: Humor/Parody  
  
FANDOM: Smallville  
  
PAIRING: Lex/Lana; mention of Clark/Chloe  
  
RATING/CONTENT WARNING: PG (for very mild cursing)  
  
SUMMARY: What would you do if confronted with…Victoria Hardwick? Here's a very humorous look at what I think Lana would do.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Christie (of "The Crisis Trilogy") nearly peed in her pants & almost spit out her yogurt all over the place. I'm not responsible if you soil your clothing or damage your computer keyboard by spewing whatever your eating all over it. I don't own anyone from "Smallville". The WB and all those people do.  
  
SPOILERS: None. This is just based off the fact that Victoria will first appear in "Rogue". The scene is completely all from my warped imagination. :D  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is meant as pure fun humor. I'm not trying to get the characters down pat with this one, as it just popped into my head and was posted as a passing thought on the Lex/Lana thread over at Fanforum. So proceed with caution & don't sue me! :D  
  
FEEDBACK: I'll be happy if I get some, but if I don't…it's not the end of the world!  
  
  
  
The door of the Beanery jingles, signaling new arrivals into Smallville's only decent after-school hangout. But the two that walk in aren't regular citizens of Smallville. Lex Luthor and an unnamed woman walk in.  
  
Lex searches the room for a familiar face and it locks on the eyes of one Lana Lang. She's sitting with Chloe Sullivan, which brings a fleeting feeling of surprise in Lex. The popular girl and the snarky reporter sitting together laughing and talking? Stranger things have happened in Smallville.  
  
Lex's "friend" rolls her eyes while looking around the quaint shop. What kind of hell hole is Lex living in and how quickly can she get him to get her out of here?  
  
Flashing a quick smile at him when he looks at her and the frowning as they make their way over to 2 teenage girls, she continues to look down upon everyone she passes, and receives dirty looks in return.  
  
"Ladies! What a pleasant surprise." Lex says, startling the girls, but receiving a warm smile from Chloe and a dazzling smile from Lana. But both frown when SHE comes into view.  
  
"Hello GIRLS." Victoria squeaks out the British version of Britney Spears.  
  
"I'm Vic-TOH-riaaa HAAAHHDWICK...Lex's GIRLFRIEND." She says, emphazing the word 'girlfriend'.  
  
Lex quickly replies "She's not my girlfriend. Just a business associate."  
  
"Business associate, my ass." Chloe murmurs under her breath while plastering a completely fake sweet smile on her face.  
  
Lana on the other hand, is completely furious. How dare this SKANK touch her man!  
  
"That's it! Outside bitch. Now!" Lana screams out, frightening the crap out of everyone, earning a "GO LANA!" from Chloe and a look of surprise, then a full out grin from Lex. This ought to be good.  
  
Victoria stares blankly in what should be an expression of surprise as Lana yanks her by the hair, pulls her outside and proceeds to kick some British ass, telling Vicky to keep her hands to herself!  
  
Lex, ripping his gleaming eyes away from Lana (and how hot it is in the Beanery all of a sudden) and asks Chloe, "Would you ever do that for a guy?"  
  
Chloe looks at him incredulously, then makes Lex get closer to her. She whispers, "Well...you keep Lana away from Clark and no one gets hurt. Honest, I swear." They both grin and turn back to see Victoria screaming "OH BLOODY HELL I HATE THIS STEEEUPID TOWN AND ITS STUUHHPID PEOPLE!" and she storms down the street and into a waiting limo.  
  
Lana comes back inside, walks straight into Lex's arms and says "You are in SO much trouble." She grins and he grins and Chloe rolls her eyes, "Not here ok? A room...Get a room!"  
  
They all walk out.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
